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Supes get raises, homeless get shaft

May 29, 2008

Originally misreported in the The Eureka Reporter and Times-Standard.

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By George W. Mussolini, The Free-Market Fascist

EUREKA – Proud to the tradition of kings and queens, the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors voted to give themselves more money for their hard work serving the homeland at its regular meeting Tuesday.

Voting unanimously, they gave themselves a $50,000 bonus as a way to help stimulate an economy asleep at the wheel.

“We work hard for the money,” said First District Supervisor Jimmy Smith, “so hard for the honey.”

And they do.

Any job that requires listening to public input deserves $50,000 and some, especially when there are these types of communists in the midst.

“This is an appalling use of public funds,” barked some hippie-looking guy. “No one is going to re-elect any of you.”

Speaking of elections, newly appointed Johanna Rodoni announced her intention to take the Second District seat if her late husband, Roger Rodoni, wins the election, as his name is on the ballot.

“If the people vote for Roger,” she said, “they certainly are voting for me.”

This kind of cronyism excites yours truly.

Back to the meeting, where the supervisors had the challenging task of finding something in the budget to slash as a result of their salary bonus.

On the agenda there was an item about giving $25,000 to some communist organization that encouraged free-loaders.

The supervisors wisely voted down the measure, and instead voted to allow the Director of Mental Health to committ people without going through the necessary checks and balances – the red tape.

The measure, according to public records, intends to fill beds in the county’s crazy house to enhance revenue.

Analysists project that hundreds-of-thousands will be made annually though this program due to all the crazies and homeless plaguing the streets.

Some homeless advocate, who calls himself Dat, cried that the oppression of the state can no longer be tolerated.

“We are people too!” he cried. “You fascists will get what’s coming.”

Shortly after his comment, Phil Crandall, director of mental health, committed Dat through the newly voted expedited process.

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